jeensgrrl (jeensgrrl) wrote,

yes I'm back never did delete this fucking thing

Well good old Alyson is back after a 2 month hiatus. I felt kind of shitty about LJ for awhile, just sick of it ya know but i'm feeling the need to start writing again and my other journal really doesn't have my whole life story either this one does, lots of reasons for me coming back and using jeensgrrl. Anyhoo....first things first...whats going on with all of you??? I've only talked one or two of you since I've been gone. It's been sort of a wild ride the last few months. I'm starting to feel like my old self again a bit though. I do have a brand spanking new bf, which is great. His name is kenny and he lives here with me, we have been together now for almost a month. Right now I'm a little peeved with him, but thats because I want to get the fuck out of the house and he isn't feeling so great, which totally isn't his fault but yeah I feel the need to get the fuck out and do something. I'm hating being hme lately, don't ask me why I just don't know. I'm thinking about moving again. I think thats my problem. Everytime I look around this shithole I see things that remind me of when Walter was around and I'd rather be stuck under a sky that is raining shit and to remember him...he is such an ass and I have decided that I hate him...yes hate him. I don't use that word to describe too many of my relationships with people, but I can use it for this one. I mean what a fucktard. Okay so anyway you now know about Kenny and how thats going, ummmm....the kids are good I guess....being there cute little annoying selves I guess. next week is my 26th birthday...whooop-did-eee-freakin-doo. I guess I'm going out because my sis is coming to watch the kids but I really don't have any set plans. So yeah...we'll see I have a feeling it's going to end up being shopping, movie, dinner, barf bag. Who knows maybe it will be a good one but who knows who knows who knows. Also I've noticed a lot of my bi-polar symptoms coming back, weird, that hasn't happened in awhile. For a long time I think I was so used to feeling one way I was numbed. I'm not numb anymore, I'm feeling again which I guess is good...sometimes. Most of the time I want the world to just fuck off but other times I'm in one of my really happy giddy manic modes and thats fun, I'd take that anyday over feeling like this. Right now I'm pissy and my period isn't helping really. I need to do something and I don't know what. Weird. Nothing to think that I would be grateful...not me I seem to strive when I have a million freaking things on my plate...nothing like feeding off of stress. It's actually pretty boring not being stressed. It gives me time to stick my thumb up my ass I suppose. Joking...maybe...LOL. I havebeen knitting and such...but even that sucks a lot lately. Just not feeling it ya know. I want more...maybe now would be a good time for me to go back to school it would give me something to do other than sit here like a lazy ass. I dunno how comfy I am with that yet though although the thought is seeming pretty appealing right now considering how much I hate doing nothing. I might as well keep busy with something fairly productive, and what would be more productive than going back to school? I want to be a hairdresser in the worst way I just have to work up the energy to get the fuck out of here and just go and do it. I've been cutting my kids hair and my hair now for awhile and I'm pretty damn good at it but *sigh* you need a goddamn license to be able to go near the publics hair with sharp instruments. Stupid rules and laws...LMAO. Not like I would hurt imagine me sitting there and some dude with a pornstache is complaining how he doesn't like his new haircut and I accidentally slip with the scissors and hit his neck...whoops...LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Ok that was a little sadistic of me but yeah I think that would be a thought that would come to mind. My sleeping patterns have been a changin sleep for Alyson...I might as well just stay dressed and do jumping jacks at 2 AM...LOL....I'm such a little insomniac. Oh yeah I've dropped about 20 more pounds too...thanks to the Nicole Richie school of really I didn't go that route but I'm still not sure how the weight actually came off...just sort of went away. Probably because no one bring me fast food twice a day anymore. so my new fave sore is American Eagle...nice to be able to in there and buy what I want now instead of having to go to the plus sizes....I knew victory would be mine I just didn't realize how soon. Things are good things are bad things are normal...peace out peeps.
a song

Tags: fuckers, fucktards, hairdressing, life, me
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